Be you

Am I an Introvert or just an arrogant person?

Back in school, there was a time when my teachers used to tell my parents that your daughter is very quiet, she doesn’t speak anything. Then there was a time in high school when teachers used to complain that your daughter talks a lot in the class, there was this one teacher in school who used to yell at me “Aparna just get out of my class” as soon as she entered the classroom and I, the poor innocent child use to look at her blankly and then look at my friend sitting right next to me and start laughing and talking again. Now when I think about it, it’s funny, even then it was. Then I got into the college which was a massive change in my life, a big fancy fashion college with everything new and a whole lot of talented people who were strangers to me. Wherever we go we find two types of people: the always out there, super friendly extroverts, and the shy and quiet introverts. I am kind of a mix of both. I talk a lot when I am with my friends and family (people who I love basically) I am an over-enthusiastic person with them and when I am with new people or people I am not that attached emotionally I prefer being quiet and just listening to them. So in college, I use to find it difficult to talk to someone or initiate a conversation. Often getting judged by people for not talking. Some found me arrogant and some just gave a wide way for their imagination and said that I am just not interested in anyone. And none was true. I am the kind of person who takes time to open up and to be comfortable with people. Some people are blessed with a great quality of talking to anyone and everyone around them. But even they are judged very badly like why she has to keep on blabbering always. And others who belong to the “college me” version also get judged. If you talk, there’s a problem if you don’t talk there’s a problem. What normal human being is supposed to do, I strongly want to know.  I started feeling low whenever I wasn’t able to speak in public. It started affecting me to the extent that I was forcing myself to talk and then ended up talking about something useless. On one such overthinking session (which I usually have like ten times a day) I ended up thinking something good. Starting with asking myself why it affects me so much? So instantly an answer popped up in my mind- because people have the wrong perception of me neither I am arrogant nor I have this unnecessary attitude. It’s just that I am so happy to be the queen of my Lala land. What’s the solution to this problem then? Simple, I don’t need to be a chatterbox, what I actually need to do is put my views and opinions whenever I feel it is necessary and have a gentle smile and that would be my contribution to the conversation. You are judged when you are not talking at all, you are judged when you are talking something stupid out of discomfort, better say something which makes sense at least there are fewer chances that people will get you wrong. I started following my superb theory. I don’t know if it works or not but it is making me feel better and happier. Accepting yourself help you to get on good terms with yourself and be happy. If being me makes me happy then why not. “An introvert is often thought of as a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual” this is the googled definition of an introvert. I don’t find anything wrong and arrogant in it. And now I have a concrete answer: I am an introvert and yes about whether I am arrogant or not let’s give people a chance to use their highly intellectual brains.      

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