Initiating a conversation with myself

Growing up as a woman I was always told to think about family before doing anything, what people or the society will say if you do anything and most of the time I functioned the same way. Before thinking about what is good for me I always thought about what people will say if I do this and I noticed that somehow my decisions were never mine they were based on the collective thoughts of the people whom I don’t even know. We do this always in regarding everything from a small thing like what should I wear to a gigantic decision of whom to marry or what career path to choose, its a normal human tendency to overthink about everything, take decisions based on what will people say, and then regret it till you die. It’s not bad to think about your parents and people who are important to you before doing anything but then we know life is based on the risks we take and the way we live. Even I think too much before doing anything, for instance, one day I was checking a pair of jeans online, I was searching and searching but I couldn’t find the perfect one finally after an hour of deep-rooted research and analysis I found a perfect pair of jeans so then I thought I will place the order tomorrow with using little more of my intellectual brain and after checking reviews a bit more. The next day I reached for the app and opened my wishlist, my excitement level was reaching as high as the Mount Everest and when it opened what I saw broke my heart into pieces (little exaggeration going on) the jeans was out of stock, yes I felt bad I wanted those jeans, I liked it a lot but I couldn’t get it. So I learned something valuable that day, time won’t stop for you, people won’t wait for you, opportunities won’t find a way to get to you, you have to find your opportunities. We all think too much about small things in life and waste our time to an extent that we are left with nothing but regret and a feeling of misery, people won’t be there to share your sorrow. We have to fight our own battles. Better be in charge of your own life, it’s always better to fail because of your own decision rather than following someone else’s. I knew all this, we all know this but of course, how will we incorporate something good in our lives so easily, so whenever I had to do something which was not included in the “the correct way of living life according to the people” book, I use to be afraid. I was so afraid that normal going out with friends, wearing good clothes, I studied in a co-ed school so I have many male friends so even talking to them on the phone used to scare me I use to think what if someone sees me talking to them and assume something about me. Trust me my parents are the coolest parents they allow me to do anything and everything but my extra intelligent mind use to scare me a lot when I read somewhere “ you need to break your old relationships with fear to make a new relationship with your strength and happiness” and wow what a line, I finally started doing what I wanted to do what I enjoy doing no matter if it is correct according to anyone else, even today I am trying to concentrate on my thoughts and happiness it’s a process we have to work towards every day, every second. But now as I follow more of what I feel makes me feel good about myself. I want to be the person who is responsible for my successes and failures, my happiness, and sadness. When you give people the authority to affect you or your decisions, they exploit it, moreover the fear of what people say increases. No one cares what you are doing in your life, whom you are marrying to, what are you studying, what are you wearing, whom you are talking to, no they just don’t have time for that even they are struggling with something or the other, even they are thinking what people will say about them so live and let live.


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