What you should do? What you shouldn’t do? Who you are? Who you want to be? What you should and shouldn’t wear? I thought answering these questions individually on my own are my basic right. But it turns out all these rights are reserved for the society, “the people”, whom I might not have met more than a couple of times, and who might absolutely not know me personally but still, you got to do according to a set of rules where whatever makes you happy does not even come at the end. I am really ashamed to be born and brought up in this space where I cannot spot my culture and society while I am working hard for my achievements, crying myself to sleep when I fail, getting anxiety or a panic attack, but always when I am about to live happily for one moment just wanting to do what I love doing, obviously nothing of it is exactly wrong ethically, morally, or otherwise but just mentally wrong (if that makes sense). Choosing what people will say over your own happiness is kind of mandatory if you want to live a respected life (being respected according to them, “the society”, “the unknown people”) but what about wanting to live a happy, independent, and on our own terms life? Our home is our first school. We learn everything at home first and then go to schools, colleges, and out and about in the world, we basically represent our values what we were taught at our home. Do these values always stick with you? Do they always help you gain respect? If you do whatever you were taught like violence is bad, so when you are attacked by someone what are you supposed to do? Aren’t you suppose to save yourself?
I have come to realize that no matter whatever you do at a particular point in time you will end up breaking a few rules here and there, but in the end, you will be happy. Life is too short to think about what if I don’t get this right? Or what will people say? But what matters is what the people who are important to us would say or think about us? And when these important people don’t approve of your happiness and tag after what people would say to them if they support you in choosing yourself the happiness you deserve, it hurts. When we grow up, we kind of get used to the fact that we cannot change what every single person on this planet thinks about us, it does not affect us either, but what the ones who we care about do. Should we be changing or punishing ourselves for owning up to our individuality? Or just keep quiet when you are being told that you are wrong when you know that it’s not you who is wrong but it’s their mentality that somehow refuses to grow? If I am in situations like these I will not let anyone decide if I am right or wrong, no one has got the right to tell me what I should do just because I am a girl or because of what people will say. This mentality has to change because the people from the society we are thinking about are not at all near to being perfect. They are not going to be there when you need it the most for support, but yes, they will be there to give a piece of their unqualified brains and judgments.
We decide who we are. We decide what we want and what we should and what we shouldn’t. Never give the key to happiness ad individuality to anyone else, no one (not even the loved ones). If you are living your life according to what people are thinking, ultimately you are living their life and that’s worse. Better to regret your own mistakes than to cry over something that wasn’t for you in the first place but you were a prey just because you blindly copied. When you are right there will always be millions of people saying garbage about you, but always remember you did the right thing and they think you are wrong because they are covering up for their mistakes which are coming up because you stood up and that’s okay. Of course, everything I said only applies unless whatever we do is morally, ethically, personally, professionally, and otherwise is really right not just some impulsive thing. Yes, the internet! We have to give a disclaimer to speak our heart too. It’s funny that we need to explain so much that the authenticity gets blurry in the way just like our individuality, our happiness, and us. Is keeping up with some people who might not even know your story and your values worth or being responsible for your life is?